Sunday, 14 December 2014

Our ignorance led to a disorder

With ADHD, we may be able to comfort ourselves saying that its the child who's got the issue so lets find a drug and he shall be fine!
The empathy-rich knows that ADHD is created by the adults and with the process of Hidden Learning, the child got it from his older fellows around! Our ignorance led to a disorder!
The most common of all, where it all begins is at school/home. The energy of a child has to be channelized and the 1st instance where she shows that she is dissatisfied with the activities around and that she has more life running in her veins. When she finishes all her work and has nothing to do, and you see her little hand raised either at you or the others of her age..
It is when all the hitting begins, that you must channelize the energies into self-correcting tools or books, but way before we get a chance to divert their minds, our minds have made judgement about their acts. 
When we see our child/ our student raise their hands, the steps that we must take are as follows:

1. PREVENT hitting if possible. You may think you can't see it coming, but if your child often hits in social situations, you can predict that hitting is likely in every social situation for now, until you do some intervention. The best prevention is the normal preventive maintenance that all kids deserve: Empathy as your go-to response to everything your child expresses, daily roughhousing, daily one-on-one time with each child, routines to help your child feel safe, and scheduled meltdowns. Preventive maintenance keeps your child in good shape emotionally, so he's less likely to hit or end up in the breakdown lane.

But how do you prevent hitting in a situation with other kids?  Stay very close, so your child feels more connected to you. That way, whatever happens, he feels like he can handle it, because he has backup -- so he's less likely to lash out. You're also better able to monitor his mood. If you notice him getting tense, move in close physically, between him and the other child. Your presence may calm him, or it may escalate his upset, in which case you can breathe deeply, move him slightly away from the other kids, and skip to Step 7.  The good news?  You're helping your child with the feelings that were driving his hitting, and no one else even had to get hurt!
2. If your child does hit, breathe.  Remind yourself: She's hitting because she's scared. I can handle this. She needs my compassion now. Get between her and the other child to prevent more violence. Model self-regulation by consciously lowering your voice, breathing deeply, and blowing out your tension. 
3. Model care and repair.  Hopefully, there is another adult present to care for the child who was hit. If not, you'll need to hold and comfort that child. This also gives you a minute to calm yourself before interacting with your own child, so you aren't raging at her.
When the hurt child has calmed, put your arm around your child, and face the other child together. Tell the other child "We are so sorry that Kira (or whatever your child's name is) hit you.  She was upset and forgot to use her words. We hope you feel better now."
4. Avoid blame.  You can help your child develop empathy by pointing out the effect of her hitting on the other child: "Ouch, Samantha is hurt...hitting hurts!"  But making your child feel like a bad person will just backfire: "Mom says what I did was bad...but I couldn't help myself...I must be bad....what if she stops loving me because I am so bad?"  This fear is what causes that blank stare we so often see after a child is aggressive.  Lecturing about what she's done wrong scares her and puts her on the defensive. So she stares us down, hardening her heart.
See it from your child's perspective. Your child is a little person who is easily overwhelmed in this big world.  He gets over-stimulated and disconnected from you and feels all alone and terrified. Or, he has some fear locked up from a past experience, and in this new situation, he just can't manage all his anxiety so his past fears start bubbling up.  He can't bear those feelings.  So he lashes out.  If you can remember all this, you'll feel more sympathy for him. You need that sympathy, because your child won't soften his heart unless you soften yours.
5. Remove your child.  Take 10 more deep breaths. Tell your child "Hitting hurts...It was too hard for you with the other kids... we need some time by ourselves to calm down."  Don't be mean about it, be kind and understanding. You aren't punishing, you're taking preventive action.  Until you help your child with his feelings, he'll almost certainly keep hitting. So remove him from the situation to give him a chance to cry, or to laugh -- both of which help him work though fear. Once you help him feel safe enough to tolerate and feel those tears and fears, they'll evaporate, and the hitting will stop.
6. Resist the urge to lecture.  Shouldn't you tell your child that hitting is not ok?  Of course! But doesn't he already know that?  He just couldn't stop himself. What's important right now is helping him process his feelings, so that he can act the way he knows he should.  And he won't surface those feelings unless he feels safe. Telling him what he did wrong doesn't help him feel safe. Later, you'll teach. First, address feelings: "You must have been so upset to hit Samantha....I'm sorry I wasn't here to help....I am right here...You are safe..."
7. Welcome the meltdown. If he has a meltdown because you took him out of the play situation, remind yourself that he's showing you all the overwhelm that led him to hit, and getting it out of his system. That's a good thing. Just breathe your way through it. The more tears, the more feelings he's unloading, and the better he'll feel afterwards. Offer your warmth more than your words. Talk only enough to stay connected and help him feel safe. Don't start analyzing his feelings. Just stay compassionate so he can cry.
8. What if she doesn't cry? Soften your own heart. Empathize with how hard it is for her: "You hit were so upset...I wasn't were worried...That was so hard for you, wasn't it...." If she still doesn't cry, letting her back into the play situation is risky, because she's still likely to hit. Move on to teaching, but be aware that you'll need to get her laughing before you go back with the other kids, or more hitting is likely.
9. Once both you and your child are calm, teach.  Which doesn't mean lecture.  Think of this as inviting your child to reflect on better ways to handle those feelings, that he might even remember the next time he gets mad at the playground. Do it with a light touch and a sense of humor.  You might even need to wait a few hours to have this conversation, until you can do it calmly.  Say "Remember at the park today when you hit that little boy?  Remember how upset he was?  That hurt him. Ouch! What happened?" 
Listen to him and reflect: "You were mad at him?...The sandbox was too crowded....tell me more..."
Then help him explore alternatives:  "Next time, when you get mad, what else could you do instead of hurting the other person?" Let him answer. If he needs help thinking of alternatives, offer some: "Could you call me?  Could you walk away?  Could you stomp your foot?" 
Then have him practice these responses, so he has 'muscle memory' of them. "Ok, let's practice.  This stuffed animal tries to grab your truck. See? You are so mad and want to hit him. But you remember there are other things you can do!  So you call me, ok? I am right over here talking to another mom. Call me loud -- MOM!! -- and I will come. Call me right now." 
10. Notice your own feelings. You have some big feelings about this, too, especially if your child is hitting with any regularity. Behind your anger there's probably fear.  Fear that something is wrong with your child, or you're a bad parent, or he'll be an axe murderer.  None of these things are true.  But you need to let that fear come up and feel it, so it's exposed to the light of day.  Then it will shrivel up and blow away and you'll be better able to help your  child.
When we're afraid, our children pick it up, and get more tense. That anxiety actually makes it more likely that they'll lash out. So you're not causing your child's hitting, or her big feelings. But when you can manage your fear and stay compassionate, your child feels safe enough to work through her own fear. 
And when there's no more fear, there's no more hitting.
Isn't that the future we all want to create?

Monday, 24 November 2014

22 revolutions: 

How colors contribute to my learning.

Colors. If I were the Earth, I would have revolved 22 times around the rainbow and If I were a carnivore, I would still be eating just the flowers from over the world!

1.Green- I joined hands with nature ever since I started my trips. It never lets me alone. Hell for me is where there is no glimpse of nature.

Blue- The Water Sky-Sky Water. The picture of earth makes me wonder. There's so much of it and so less I've explored. Blue is the Sky and so blue is the water too!

3.Turquoise- Gem! Gems! Glitter! Another beauty that I've learnt to adore over the years, all that glitters... is a visual treat indeed!

Pink- Femininity. With no offence to the male counterparts who adore the color too, this color gives me grounds when I've got to dress feminine, when I've got to act feminine, I keep the color in front of me. It’s a booster to my girly senses!

Orange- A die-hard fan of this color. This! After being an Orange Observer for months, I started to observe all other colors and appreciating the same. Orange to me is like a school to a kid. A school where I am learning the art of appreciation!

6. Black/White/ Grey- Typing! Word documents and the other office tools. My laptop comprises of these colors are I could type for hours, since I've gotten used to this combination. Where there is a White and Black, there is a lot of typing!

Diamond- Shopping malls! If you were God and if you grant me a day out for shopping in Dubai Mall, I will never be able to pick a single awesome wearable stuff for me except diamonds! It’s not me, it’s the diamonds. You pick any; it’s going to be one of the best! Which encourages me to say that it’s only the diamond that I can shop for with accuracy?
8. Silver- Cars? Well, all that I've learnt for the ages about cars, Silver is the color to pick!

Gold- The color I dislike. If there are things around me that I don't quite like, I associate it to the color gold. For example, if my painting did not quite turn out to be how I liked it, I'd give it a border of gold and then I know I've got to ignore every bit of it!

Blue- Again? Well it’s because you can wear it too! Apart from the sky-water-water-sky, I like it when you are dressed in blue and I like it when I dress me in blue too!

11. Magenta- Words like claustrophobic, onomatopoeia, rendezvous fall in this list. Why would they name it Magenta? When it could simply be called as a pink jewel or jewel pink? And a pink diamond could be called as Magenta or a figure of speech that is associated with a girl could be called as magenta!

Red- The color of my room! Anything that brings in a mix of adrenaline and peace, A Perfect Teenager! Red+ White helps me define people and their nature. And how it could merge with mine to; to then have a conversation.

13. Yellow: Sunshine. From a ray to the widespread of this color makes way for happiness as it lets me do away the dismay.

Brown? : Never imagined this would be on my top 22. But this helps me sort. Drawers, Doors, Cupboards, Sections are usually formed and painted in brown. And where there are no sections, there is sand, and there is mud. Gives a base to all the colors; fictitiously, keeps the silver, the magenta and the pink "grounded".

Plain White: Without a mix! Without a combination! This is The color that adds to and solves too, all the confusions. When it appears in spirals, nothing in world could twirl better. And when it forms the screen, a canvas on which you are free to do, say or hear, this color can be used to depict your story in any form.

Purple: A boring routine. When in routine, where there is no scope of anything but protocols, I see this shade revolving in my head. It helps no bit to awake any of my senses.

17. Pinkish White or the Skin or the Nude:
Makes me stronger in believes of equality. I learn the laws, rules on roads, rules about safety, because it is the color that has been used to paint us all. I see humans and I understand Humanity when this is the base color for scriptures.

Unidentified: When a color, any color doesn't please the eye, a bad multicolored is the closest hint I could give you to define this color. When anything that harms, comes close to me, I cannot keep a distinction in colors. 

19. Multicolored: A perfect distinction of any colors is my call for every occasion. If I were to celebrate that one day, I would spend ages to gather all the colors I know of and have it all at one place.

20. Starry: The color of Stars, the Night sky! This is the blend that puts me to sleep. On a day of love, the same sky becomes a friend indeed to sit and firmly hold hands and just be there. Friends to me are like the stars at night, right there!

21. Monotony: Well this color is used at my workplace. It is a color that makes me ignorant of all other colors. Be it in the brightest of sun or the whitest of winter, I would go blank if the screen plays monotony! All my middlemen and higher management are painted with the color of monotony; they neither know whom they work for nor are they aware of whom to give the work. Color of MISMANAGEMENT! 

22. Olive: The color I least use to learn. This is the color that I pick when no other color suit. If I were solving a jigsaw, and if I cannot find two pieces, I would spill this shade of green and it makes me feel the jigsaw is just right!

Tuesday, 30 September 2014

Do you think they're scared?

You think they're scared?

Kids who can do an underwater, dive in, dance until their feet pain and play guitar though their fingers bleed.. You think these kids are afraid of a simple white and black paper you give them; Examinations?
These infinitely powerful bunch of learners, our future, our creation, you think they fear tests?

Its you who had told them that if they don't make it through this one, they'll be nowhere.

Just-turned-into-Adults, these guys in their 20s, do they have to hate their families or declare the families a barrier to their progress? Its now that I realize my father ain't at all scary as I thought he was all the time in my schooling years. I was made to have an image of him as that one scary person whose command would make me clear the tests. He was as friendly as any of my friends could get and without a doubt, more loving. I am sure he would have said, 'its ok if you did not clear your 3rd grade, we have another year, tomorrow's another good morning' and I am sure those mornings would be as normal with my dad and mom but not at school! "I will not send you to the 4th grade if you don't frame this answer when I already have taught you to do so."
Well does that stop me from growing? Who said you have to do anything with my age factor? My birthday comes every year, irrespective of these sheets of papers, unfortunately they come to me each year, growing in numbers. Does not promoting me do anything with my capacity for learning?

They're scared when you try to snatch their most beautiful talents away from them. If only they could frame a sentence to tell you that 'don't you dare hamper my natural creativity, don't you just fail me in grade 7 but make sure you remove me out of school and don't let me into any such institute like this one!'

If you can hear them, they cry not because they've not gotten ascending numbers across the single lined papers but because you failed to appreciate that little colour combination they just experimented with in their drawing books and how they learnt to cut the piece of paper to make their new shapes and angles when you were busy looking why did they matched the 45 degree triangle to the rectangle on the right side of the page..when they were asked about matching the similar equilateral.

Teens! The most enthusiastic lot, we could ever have in our surroundings. By the time they pass their schools, they're made to look at their parents unlike their own parents. If you look back, most of us feel we were adopted. This lot are sometimes hated by their families too, forced to break the ties. Why did they grow up like that while their families still love them the same and God is fair to all ages, I am sorry it has to do nothing with adrenaline! Adrenaline by all means is so positive as it makes you so energetic. The opposite of Adrenaline is Lazy, isn't it?

Tuesday, 9 September 2014

Learning Environments

 Positive Learning Enviornment

All learning environments should have a positive influence on children 

and young people. This can be achieved by promoting inclusion and 

equality and through approaches to developing positive relationships 

and behavior.

Inclusion and equality

Inclusion is about all learners and about taking action to remove barriers to participation and learning. Inclusion also involves eliminating discrimination and promoting equality.

Barriers to participation and learning for individuals and groups usually involve multiple interacting factors, rather than just one. A holistic approach is always necessary. See how practitioners can take action to remove the barriers to participation and learning, eliminate discrimination and promote equality.

Refugees and asylum seekers

Learn about providing support to vulnerable children who are refugees or asylum seekers.

Service families 

Considering needs of learners; who face inadequacy in guidance and information, belonging to service families.

Young careers 

See what can be done to support young people who have an additional responsibility of care.

Disability equality 

Get help to support learners with accessibility requirements.

Race equality 

Get support in dealing with and preventing racial incidents.

Travelling communities 

Find information about travelling communities and resources to support the development of educational inclusion.

Challenging sectarianism 

Find out about sectarianism in Scotland and learn why we should challenge it.

Religion or belief 

Discover resources for the promotion of religious equality in schools and society.

Positive relationships and behavior

Discover the current approaches and get support for developing good relationships and positive behavior.


Discover the current positive behavior approaches being used

      Discover how to manage low-level classroom disruption using this peer support approach.

      Nurture groups offset negative environmental factors for young children who find it hard to fit in at the early stages.

      Information, case studies, publications and resources to help staff understand and apply restorative approaches in their schools.

      A theoretical framework to sharpen thinking on learner motivation.

      The principles and structure behind flexible, co-operative and consistent solution finding applied to education.

      Being Cool in School is a program for developing emotional literacy and teaching pro-social behavior in young people.

      Better relationships, better learning, better behaviour

      Actions to improve behavior in schools:

      • Further detailed advice on the safe and responsible use of mobile phones to be provided to schools later this year
      • Increase access to training and support for school support staff
      • Increase engagement with parents to ensure a consistent approach to behaviour both at home and at school
      • Further embed the positive approaches to relationships and behaviour in schools that have proven successful in recent years
      • Every school will develop a statement on culture, ethos and values to be in the School Handbook


      Sunday, 10 August 2014

      20 Fun Indoor Games

      Pencil-and-paper games
      From Battleship to Sprouts, we’ve created a must-play list of pencil-and-paper games that beat TV any rainy day. Gather some pencils and paper and check out our best of pencil-and-paper games.
      You don’t need a fancy building set for this. Popsicle stick cities, card towers, even buildings out of blocks, or forts out of boxes or pillows, will do just fine. If you want to get competitive, whoever builds the highest tower wins.
      Magical Mama (or Papa) 
      Be your kids’ very own Harry Houdini — without the locks, chains and water tanks, of course. Simply place a coin under one of three cups and shuffle the cups around. Then ask your children to guess which cup holds the coin. Sneaky parents can place the cups near the edge of a table and secretly drop the coin. Watch your tots’ eyes light up in amazement when they learn the coin is gone!
      Card games 
      Card games are great for challenging young minds and creating hours of indoor fun. Grab a box of cards and check out our favourite traditional card games.
       Exercise those creative, cognitive and problem-solving muscles with a good puzzle. You can use a store-bought variety or have the kids make their own. Have your children draw a picture on a sturdy piece of cardboard or Bristol board. Then use a pencil to outline puzzle pieces directly on their drawing. Cut out the pieces with a good pair of scissors, mix them up and get solving.
      Choose some of your kids’ favourite tunes and turn up the volume. Ask them to dance until the music stops. When it does, they have to freeze in whatever position they find themselves in – even if they have one leg up. To make the game more challenging, ask the kids to freeze in specific poses: animals, shapes, letters or even yoga postures.
      Board and family games
       For a comprehensive list of the best of family games from Nursery Rhyme Games and Candy Land to Clue, check out our handy list of top 20 family games.
      Paper-bag skits 
      This game is ideal for larger groups — a sleepover favourite. Divide the kids up into groups. Give each group a bag filled with props, such as a spoon, toy jewelry, a sock, ball or ribbon. Then give them 15 minutes to construct a skit around the props. This game is so much fun that it doesn’t have to be competitive. If the kids want, though, they can all vote on a winning skit.
      Indoor hopscotch 
      This schoolyard favourite is sure to be an indoor hit, too. Set up your hopscotch game on any floor surface. Masking tape will do perfectly to form the nine connecting squares. Boxes 1-3 will be placed in a single line, one on top of the other. The next two boxes (4, 5) will be placed side-by-side, followed by a single box (6), two more boxes (7, 8) and the final half-circle “home” base (9). Next, choose a marker, such as a coin, stone or beanbag. The first player will throw the marker into square 1 without letting it bounce or touch the lines. If successful, the player will then hop — one foot on single squares and two feet on side-by-side squares — avoiding square #1. The player may rest on “home” before hopping back. On the way back, he or she picks up the marker on square #1 and, if successful (lands within the lines, hops or jumps with proper footing, doesn’t fall), takes another turn and throws it into square #2. When the player is unsuccessful, the next player takes a turn. Players resume their turns by throwing the marker on the last box played. The winner is the first player to throw the marker home (#9), and smoothly complete the whole course.
      DIY balance beam 
      While you have your masking tape out, why not make your own balance beam? We all know how much kids love walking in straight lines every chance they get. Put on some music, and one at a time the kids can take their turn walking one-foot-over-the-other across the straight line of tape. Make the game more challenging by having the kids walk backwards or balance with one foot on the line.

      Hide and Seek 
      No list of indoor games would be complete without Hide and Seek, now would it? In this classic game, one person (“It”) covers his or her eyes and counts aloud while the other players hide. When “It” is finished counting, he or she begins looking for the hiders. The last hider to be found is the next “It.” Warning: this game is often a source of giggle fits. Families with older children might want to take things up a notch and play Hide and Seek in the dark. Just to be safe, make sure there are no loose items on the floor. If you want, allow “It” to carry a flashlight or turn the lights on once “It” finishes counting.
      Treasure hunt 
      Kids love finding hidden objects — especially when there’s a prize at the end. Simply write your clues on some slips of paper — get creative. Place the first clue somewhere easy to find, like inside your child’s snack or cereal bowl. Then leave as many clues as you like around the house, making a trail to the final clue. Instead of a prize, the treasure hunt can lead to various coins around the house. This way the kids get to collect all the coins and put them in their piggy banks in the end.
      Indoor bowling 
      A great way to reuse water bottles (or you can purchase an indoor bowling set). Line six-10 water bottles up at the end of your hall or living room. Place a line of duct tape at the starting line. Grab a medium-sized indoor ball and start bowling! If you want, keep score and give out trophies at the end. (Note: if you need to stabilize the water bottles or make the game more difficult, simply fill them up with some water. Don’t forget to screw the tops on tightly!)
      Hot Potato
       This game will have everyone giggling. Ask the kids to sit on the floor in a circle. Turn on some tunes and have them pass the potato (a bean bag or soft ball) around the circle as fast as they can. When the music stops, the player holding the potato leaves the circle. Keep going until only one player is left and wins the game.
      Picnic memory game
       Former preschool director and grandmother of three, Marsha Colla, has some innovative games up her sleeve, including this fun and simple verbal memory game, which, Colla says, “challenges the children and makes them giggle.” To play, everyone sits in a circle. The first player says, “In my basket for the picnic, I packed…,” and then says what item he or she packed. The next player then says, “In my basket for the picnic, I packed…,” and then recites what the first player packed and adds his or her own item to the basket, and so forth.
      The listening game
       One of Colla’s go-to games for her preschoolers and grandchildren, this game is sure to both educate and delight little ones. Take out several miscellaneous items. Have the children look at all the items, and then take them away. Next, ask one child to hide his or her eyes and listen as you pick up an item and make sounds with it. Ask the child to guess which item made the sound. Examples of items might be a comb (run your fingers along it), a glass (gently tap it), cymbals, shakers, sandpaper, blocks rubbed together, a pot and spoon. Be creative and have fun!
       You don’t have to go outside to enjoy bubbles. For this game, you need a plate and straw for each player, some dishwashing soap and water. Place a dime-size drop of dish soap at the centre of each plate. Pour a little water onto the plate and gently mix with the dish soap until some suds start to form. Have the kids place the straw in the suds and blow very gently. Watch as massive bubbles start to form. To make this competitive, see who blows the biggest, or longest-lasting, bubble.
      Simon Says
       This traditional favourite will never get old. To start, choose one player (probably a parent for the first round) to be Simon. The rest of the players will gather in a circle or line in front of Simon as he calls out actions starting with the phrase “Simon says”: “Simon says…touch your toes.” The players then have to copy Simon’s action, touching their toes. If Simon calls out an action without uttering the phrase “Simon says,” the kids must not do the action. If a child touches his toes when Simon didn’t say…, he or she is out of the game. There are lots of great ways Simon can trick players into doing actions when Simon didn’t say: Simon can perform an action without uttering a command, for example, or he can perform an action that doesn’t correspond with the command. Fun! The last player left in the game wins and becomes the next Simon.
      Touch-and-feel box 
      Most preschoolers flock to the classroom sensory table as soon as the teachers pull it out. So there is little doubt they will love this entertaining challenge. Find a shoe box or any box that has a lid on it. Cut a hole in one of the sides of the box —large enough for your child to fit her hand in. If you want, get creative and decorate the box with glitter and question marks. When you’re ready to play, put an item inside the box and have your children guess what it is. They can ask questions about the item if they need to, or you can offer clues. Get as ooey-gooey as you wish (fresh pumpkin seeds or slimy spaghetti are great choices for Halloween), or use such simple objects as a brush, a toy, a piece of fruit. To make it competitive, you can give a point to the first child to name the object.
      Indoor basketball 
      You can’t be too little for this version of basketball. All you need is a bucket and a rolled up sock (or a small, light ball). Each player takes a turn at throwing the sock-ball into the bucket. When a player scores a bucket, he or she takes a step back and throws again until missing. The player who shoots the ball in the bucket from the farthest distance wins.


      Tuesday, 5 August 2014


      1. KNOWLEDGE

      • How can I increase my own sense of competence, contribution and confidence?
      • What do I need to learn?
      • What do I need to unlearn?
      1. VALUES

      • How can I increase my own sense of impact by changing what I value?
      • What do I need to value more?
      • What do I need to value less?
      1. PRACTICES

      • How can I increase my own sense of purpose, meaning and spiritual vitality?
      • What do I need to practice/experience more of?
      • What do I need to practice/experience less of?

      • How can I increase my own sense of influence?
      • Who do I need speaking in to my life?
      • Whose life do I need to speak in to?
      1. HABITS

      • How can I increase my own sense of personal and ministry goal alignment?
      • What do I need to spend more time doing?
      • What do I need to spend less time doing?