"Your attitude is not right. You are so negative. Usually, my son sleeps at X am. Today with you around, he slept 45 minutes late because he sensed something was wrong. Your negative energy was so much around us that even he felt it." Says someone in my family to me. I was wondering why was I even invited to stay over then?
I feel like an unknown parcel or a ball for which no one wants to take the onus but just want to pass it over to someone else to figure out what to do with this unwanted parcel.
Agreed I'm a girl child and I've taken 2 major wrong steps in my life over the span of 10 years. Agreed that these steps did bring shame to my family for that day and left behind a deep scar. Agreed that I did not do much for them to heal that scar. Agreed I deserved some punishment, consequence, hatred, and everything that a person deserves when she brings shame to her family. Agreed. My question is for how long? My question is why is this brought up when I want to make a decision for moving ahead in my life? Each time I do something big or think of doing something big, why am I pulled down by being reminded of these 2 devastating incidences?
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